Do you know Siri?  A computer program that works as an intelligent personal assistant and knowledge navigator?
Well, Siri is truly intelligent and we don’t deny the fact (Sarcasm) 😉

But ever wondered what if Siri becomes sarcastic and we receive sarcasm filled replies from her? Cannot relate sarcasm to anyone else except Chandler, eh? Chandler is the “God of Sarcasm”

This Quora user exactly did the same. He quoted down a series of sarcasm filled replies that Chandler would give if he becomes Siri and they are sure to make you laugh to the bones.

So get ready for some Chandler time! I mean “Sarcasm” time!

Hey Siri,

  • Make dinner reservations for two at Gourmet Italia at 09:00 pm?
    Dinner reservations made for two at Gourmet Italia at 09:00 pm. It’s actually right opposite to the Coliseum. Do you want me to book the tickets to Rome too now?
  • How many calories are there in rice?
    A Lot

  • What is 25% tip on $180?
    25% tip? Really? I’m poor and broke and desperate for money.
  • What airplanes are flying over me right now?
    Don’t know about the ones flying over you but the one headed towards you right now looks pretty close.


  • Which movie should I go out to watch?
    Die Hard. You always watch Die Hard.
  • What is the latest cricket score?
    I’m American. We don’t understand cricket.

  • Call my mom?
    “Mooooooooommmmmmmmmmmm”, eh! looks like she didn’t hear me.
  • Will it rain tomorrow?
    Hey! I am Siri. That is a question you ask Google.

  • Remind me to study at 08:00 am?
    If you need reminders to study, you better drop out now. No good can come out of your life. You are pathetic and hopeless and will die as an addict junkie.
  • I’m drunk!
    The keys to your car can be found near the vase on the table to your right.

  • Does she like me?
    Could you be anymore ugly?
  • Who let the dog out?
    Who? Who? Who? Who?

  • How’s the stock market doing?
    Tanking. Diving. In a free fall, are the terms I can come up with from the top of my head.
  • Set a countdown for ten minutes?
    When you return from the moon. Please bring me a cheesecake?

  • When is my wife’s birthday?
    Yesterday. And I am not even kidding.
  • My belly is getting bigger and bigger?
    It’s not who you are underneath but what you eat that defines you.

  • How do I convert USD to Euro?
    Grab all your cash and route it through a Mexican drug cartel to the Cayman Islands. Then contact Mossack Fonseca in Panama and have them direct it to Switzerland via Mauritius and Gibraltar. Then go to Switzerland and ask them for it. You can get it in Euro. For more info, you can call 1–800-HOTLINE BING.

Peace 🙂