We as humans are ought to make mistakes. By committing a mistake we feel guilty about it for a long long time. It is said that ‘Mistakes are stepping stones to Learning’, but then there are these blunders which are better not made because the regret about them would be a lifelong haunting story for us. They stay glued and cannot be erased ever.

I was 14 years old, puberty hit and I had already started masturbating regularly for a while.
One day I and my 10-year-old sister were alone in my room playing computer games. Suddenly, she blurted out that she wanted to touch and see the big thing between my legs ( apparently, she had seen my erection in my sleep and even touched it)
Suddenly, after hearing that, I had an erection.
Then, I had the sickest thought of my life, I thought I’d close the door and show it to her in exchange for me seeing her and touching her, I had gone farther in my thinking that I should have her press my thing with her hands and maybe even have her lick it. I knew she would do it, even though in her innocence she wouldn’t know what she was doing. I had that thought running through my mind. I was ready to do what I had thought.

Then, I don’t know how I controlled myself and acted as if I didn’t know what she was talking about. I somehow avoided the topic and rushed her out of the room on some pretence. After she went out, I finally relieved myself.

I still sometimes think, if I hadn’t controlled myself that day, we would be two fucked up siblings, our family would be dysfunctional and our lives would be embedded with a deep trauma.

After that day, I didn’t have any of that kind of thoughts about my sister and as I grew up our relationship also developed as a normal sibling. We tease each other, Fight each other, help each other.
I am now 24 and she is 20. We rely on each other every step of our life and have a deep trust which only family members have for each other.

Thank god I didn’t act on the sickest, grossest, dirtiest thought that has ever occurred in my mind.

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Source Writer: Anonymous

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